is a core concept in Zen and Buddhism. It's what all of these practices are trying to address. Duḥkha is often translated as "suffering," but I don't like that one as much. My teacher prefers "stress", and I like to think of it as "dissatisfaction."
To me "dissatisfaction" covers everyhing I understand the word to mean. It includes suffering, but also the more subtle forms of unease that pervade our lives. The feeling that something is missing, that we are not quite whole, or full on stress and anxiety. Yearning for things to be different than they are is the root of duḥkha.
I found my way to Zen about a year ago through the conventional means. I was stressed out. I had massive imposter syndrome in my new role heading up an engineering team at a startup. I had just bought a house and had our first kid, which is the best thing in my life, but it was a massive change (I wouldn't have it any other way). I was dissatisfied.
My long time boss, mentor, and friend had been practicing the "normal" (vipassanā) mindfulness meditation and suggested I try it out. I did, and it seemed good, so I kept doing it.
Long story short, after practicing for a while, reading up on Buddhism, and listening to podcasts, I decided to try some local meditation groups. I went to a bunch of different places, but landed at Bright Way Zen. BWZ was much different than the other places I visited. No shade to those others, they are doing amazing things and truly helping people. But BWZ felt like the right place for me personally right out of the gate.
My teacher teaches a form of Zen practice called "shikantaza," which (kinda) translates to "just sitting", or "just precisely sitting." It's a form of zazen (seated meditation) that is very simple in its instructions. You just sit, upright, and do nothing. No mantras, no counting breaths, no focusing on anything in particular. Just sit.
At least, that's how it's tought. I find it easier to describe it as just sitting down and trying to be still. Your mind is going to wander, your body is going to fidget, and you are going to want to get up and do something else. And most of all, you're going to think you're doing it wrong.
Shikantaza is taught in the Soto school of Zen, which is the largest school of Zen Buddhism in Japan. It was popularized in the west by Shunryu Suzuki, who wrote the famous book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (one of my favorites).
Most Zen centers in the west practice some hybrid of Soto and Rinzai and Vipassana practice, which is great, and possibly more accessible for westerners. But I'm glad I found a place that focuses on shikantaza.
The practice is to notice stuff happening. That's it. There's no "bring your mind back to the breath", which I had always thought was what you're supposed to do. Getting lost in thought isn't a bad thing, it's what minds do. My back always fucking hurts and i squirm, but that's what my body does.
The practice is not to judge yourself, and shikantaza makes that easy because you didn't do anything wrong in the first place! There is literally no wrong way to do it as long as you take the time out of your day to just sit down, shut up, and try to be still.
This was all contrary to how I had been practicing up to this point. I had been trying to "meditate correctly," which meant focusing on my breath, counting breaths, and trying to not think about anything else. I was constantly judging myself for not doing it right, and that just made me frustrated.
Well, that and the physical part. That can suck, but it's rarely as bad as my mind makes it out to be.
But if there is no wrong way to do it, then you can give yourself permission to just do it... You're free! Sitting becomes... fun? painful? boring? relaxing? Who cares! You're experiencing it. And you're doing it perfectly.
Thoughts, feelings, sensations, perceptions all come up when you sit and pay attention. That's what minds and bodies do. If you observe these phenomena enough times while just sitting, then when they come up in your daily life, you can recognize them for what they are. Just phenomena. Impermanent, ever changing, not "real" in the way you thought they were.
When an uncomfortable thought comes up during zazen, it's usually followed by a physical sensation. Kind of a tightness in my chest, or a knot in my stomach. I notice how it feels, how it arose, and how it passes away. Then, in my daily life when that exact same pattern comes up, I can recognize it for what it is. Just a thought, and a sensation. Not something to be afraid of, or to run away from. Just something to observe. It's not "real" in the way I thought it was.
At BWZ we read a "book" by Issho Fujita called Polishing a Tile and this was the turning point for me. I don't recommend it to people new to Zen, but if you've been practicing for at least a little while and are familiar with some basic Zen lingo it's a really good introduction to this style of sitting. He teaches a pure form of shikantaza in a way I don't think exists anywhere else. Except for my teacher's podcast, it's great, you should check it out.
This style of sitting resonated with me immediately. It felt like a cheat code. The idea that I could just sit down and try to be still, without any complicated instructions or techniques, was liberating. There's no "goal" that I can never quite achieve. It clicked right away and my practice opened in a way it never had before.
I am no teacher, and I'm still new to this practice. All of our experiences will be different, and what works for me may not work for you. But that's the beauty of this discipline, there are so many different ways to practice, and so many different teachers and traditions to learn from.